(I'm a fan of alliteration).
Life here in England is really great - Nick and I love the chance to spend so much time together, and I'm enjoying the break from the working world. My life is so segmented - I went from being at work all the time consulting and home nearly never, to being at home almost all the time. Normalcy is not a concept I can relate to! We like the hours that Nick works, and cooking dinner together, and lazy Saturdays.
It's a hard and lonely life, too, though. One of the biggest challenges so far has been making friends. We've met lots of people through work and church, and plenty of people who really like, but we have yet to transition beyond the acquaintances barrier. There are several reasons for this. For one, the culture is much more formal. There's not an immediate sense of friendship or ease that we're used to in America. Also, people are really busy schedule-wise - there's less time for last-minute plans and just hanging out. Partly this is a culture difference, but it's also a geographical difference. No one lives too far from their families, or from friends that they have always had. Some (almost) friends asked if we lived close to my family. I said yes, only a three hour drive (which is rounding down from the actual little over 3 1/2 hour drive). They laughed and said they could tell I'm from America because that is really far here. People's lives seem so full of relationships already, and it is hard to break through that. I told Nick that I'll be so excited on the day someone just calls me up and asks me to hang out.
I hope this doesn't sound like whining! We just wanted to share the highlights and the lowlights of being an expat. The cultural barriers to close relationships is a definite lowlight. It also reminds us to be so grateful for all of the incredible friendships we already have - it's not something we'll take for granted, and it's a big reason why we'll be happy to move back home (whenever that may be). This weekend though, we are having our first guests! It is as clean and nice as the flat has ever been, so we'll take pictures and post them soon.
- Lauren
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4 comments:
Hi Lauren and Nick. (Lauren, Nick knows me from small group back in Urbana-Champaign. Congrats on your wedding and move!)
I lived in England (York) for a year, and I encountered the same loneliness and longing (alliteration!) you blogged about today. I must say that by the end of my year, barriers had been broken and friendships made. I was brokenhearted to leave just as it seemed things were changing.
My remedy was to always have lovely tea and biscuits in stock in case someone could stop by. Those Brits never pass up a cuppa!
I'm sure things will continue to get better and better, and I envy your current adventure. I can't wait to spend some time looking through the photos you both have posted here and reminisce about one of the most beautiful countries I have visited. Nick, thank you for emailing us about your blog.
Hope that call to hang out comes soon! Breaking through the barrier is tough but worth it. And no, you weren't whiny--as one who has had to break barriers her whole life, I know what you're talking about.
I'll come back and read about nerd camp later...
Hey you two! I've been having a blast reading about your adventures. I wanted to tell you about a funny encounter I had with a friendly Brit living in Memphis. He's part of my running group and looks as though he is from India somewhere, but grew up in England so he has a British accent - a little weird when you first hear him exclaim 'brilliant!' Anyway, I told him I have friends living in England now, but I couldn't remember the name of your town, and I said, ‘yeah it's like New Brunswick or something.’ He looked at me in disgust and commented, ‘Are you sure it isn't just Brunswick? There really isn't anything NEW in England. There is no New York, is there? Or New Hampshire? That's here isn't it?’ Needless to say, I got his point. So a suggestion for meeting natives: make sure you tell all the friends you do meet that EVERYTHING in England is old and historic and you are the only NEW things there! ;)
i found your blog via sarah louise and must say that i am enjoying reading of your adventures in/around b'ham. i LOVE visiting england (and b'ham is one of my favourites cities), and have lived there on 2 occasions. it is hard making friends for all the reasons you stated. maybe there are other expats in the area? i like the suggestion of having tea and biscuits on hand.i wish you lots of luck, and GOOD weather!!
sistahe(blogspot.com)
great photos btw! :-)
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